A Scientist at the Movies Reviews by Greg Paris

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Title: I, Robot

Date Viewed: 7/18/04

Details:

Will Smith

Bridget Moynahan

Alan Tudyk (Sonny: voice)

James Cromwell

Bruce Greenwood

Chi McBride

Director: Alex Proyas

Score: +

The Review: "Hey, Dude, I've got a cool idea for a script. Like "I, Robot" meets Phantom Menace. Everybody knows "I, Robot" -- the science fiction crossover novel into detective procedural mystery, one of the first novels to try that. You know -- Isaac Asimov, the three laws of robotics, and all that? It's got a built-in audience to start with. But the book's much too slow, with too much thinking, not enough action. Since we'd plan this for a summer release, it's got to have action and it's got to have Will Smith -- we should be able to get Will, can't we?! -- so we can make him the detective, but he's got to have an attitude, like, you know, Chandler or Parker? And the robots can't be indistinguishable humanoids with skin and all that, so they've got to look really different, so people can't confuse them with real people; they have to look like, well, robots. And action -- lots of robots running around, running amuck, glowing red, scaring people, doing impossible things; great opportunities for SFX. Oh, maybe even robots fighting robots, like a good old-fashioned cat fight!? Yes, I guess we have to keep the murder to hook them in, add that folksy real people touch, but there's gotta be a lot of chase scenes, Smith taking a lot of damage but still coming back for more, but the chases have to be futuristic and ominous. Maybe we'll keep a few character names -- Calvin sounds OK -- but why name the robots? They'll all be SFX anyhow, and we saw what happened to naming robots in A.I., didn't we? Don't go there! Brinkmanship, rebellion, crazy buildings, glitzy roads -- and we're sure to get a tie-in for placement from one of the big car companies. We've got Asimov's three laws, and a catchy title -- what else do we need? And if we really want deus ex machina, we can bring in nanotechnology; who cares if the ideas come from different universes? Gotta love it, what?"

This is intellectual fraud. Perhaps only a few old-time science fiction fans with memories left intact from the 60's will know the difference, and perhaps even fewer will care. But I care. I could scream, "Don't let this happen again!", but who am I fooling? This is Hollywood, and this is summer action fare, so what was I expecting? Accuracy? Intellectual rigor? Accurately portrayed moral dilemmas and legal puzzles? Subtly nuanced characters? Right...!

That being said...

Not bad.

If you ignore the fact that the only things in common with the book of the same title are the (now infamous, and if not well known, at least well attributed) three laws of robotics, and just relax for some summer bang 'em up glossy entertainment, then you'll be in the right place. The plot is not challenging, the future architecture not awe-inspiring, and it's easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys -- clue: it's not about white hats -- but there are a few twists and turns to keep up your interest, a few points where characters actually can grow a bit and learn a lot, and a trick or two up Will Smith's sleeve. And it is not starved for action, for dizzying heights, for chase scenes, and for lots of acceptable shoot 'em damage -- after all, they're robots, not people! Hmmm..., somebody didn't read the book.

Reasonably well-cast, with Smith as a pivotal attraction: almost downright required, in fact, since many of the other actors appear wooden-faced and essentially robotic in acting. Or was that the intent? From a visual design viewpoint, the NS5 robot design is quite good, both appealing and moderately expressive, and their implementation does provide an excellent backdrop and foreground for special effects. Whoever selected Sonny's voice coach probably put out a casting call for "Hal" sound-alikes.

But there's got to be some back story that wasn't fully laid out. For some reason, Lake Michigan is no longer around, and there's some remarkably picturesque (one might say distinctive?) bridge debris in the background of some scenes. Yes, it's 30 years in the future, but there are lots of other ways to give visual cues to the future than by evaporating Lake Michigan -- like putting the date in text at the beginning of the movie. (Oh, yeah, they did that too...) Driver's skills are either plummeting towards nil or are developing at a fantastic rate, since it seems that not only can cars drive themselves, they also can be driven sideways and do all sorts of fancy acrobatics when manually directed from the steering wheel. There are security cameras and recording devices all over the place, but no one ever thinks to confirm Will's character's story by looking at real data. (Evidence? We don't need no stinking evidence!) And if anyone cares, in Asimov's robots, the positronic brain was located in the torso (not the head), to provide enough space for its complex mechanism.

(18-July-04)

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