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Title: Loch Ness

Theatrical release: 1996

Details:

Ted Danson

Joely Richardson

Ian Holm

Kirsty Graham

Director: John Henderson

Score: 1/4

The Review: As I've mentioned before, from long-term romantic and scientific fascination, I'm a softie for anything connected with Scotland's Loch Ness. There's a plethora of books (factoid, et al.) espousing one or another opinion: one end of the spectrum generally having a minimum of acceptable evidence, and the other end such trenchant skepticism as to be humorless; there's little in the middle. There are the inevitable novels that impinge somehow on Nessian critters, including Krovitz's awful "Monster." No one has yet done a really interesting movie about the loch and its (possible) inhabitant(s), fact or fiction -- but of those I've seen, this version comes closest, even though it still has a long way to go. A romantic drama crossed with a bit of pseudo-science, spiced with occasional Highland scenery -- albeit mostly from (boring) Fort Augustus at the south end of the loch (instead of the more picturesque Drumnadrochit).

Danson plays a solo, downcast, and certainly outcast academic naturalist whose department head has exiled him to Loch Ness to continue the work of a beloved professor (who met his untimely end, at loch-edge, via concussion and drowning) and (brooking no argument) to disprove Nessie's existence. There's more than enough of a personal back-story which, unfortunately, trickles out in dribs and drabs at mostly inopportune moments (the script could stand a bit of fine-tuning). Upon Danson's arrival, he immediately infuriates the local bartender and B&B proprietress (Richardson), and you just know by their interaction that this will reverse dramatically sometime along the plot. And there's the requisite cute young red-haired daughter (Graham), who seems to be the only one in sight who enjoys Danson's company.

But -- surprisingly -- the cast makes the movie; the plot is skeletal at best. Graham is the glue that holds things together, and the budding relationship between Richardson and Danson redeems the occasional silliness. Ian Holm is mostly a caricature, a waste of a good actor, at least until the last few minutes. Lots of underwater shots from the point of view of the Nessians -- intended to be ominous, but mostly just murky. Let this be a subtle plea: "more screen time for critters!"

(15-Sep-02)

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